The Squatchicorns Read online

  “Do you have the Human Repellant spray?” she asked them.

  Nogg felt around in the backpack that Hugo’s dad had given him and pulled out the bright red can of Human Repellant. When you sprayed it, it made everything around you stink like skunk. When Sasquatches were walking through the woods, they usually took a can or two with them to keep the Humans away.

  “And the glowworm lamp? And a fire-starting kit? And the compass?”

  Nogg checked the backpack. “All here,” he said.

  “Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Well, have a good time.”

  “We will,” Hugo said.

  “And remember to walk heel to toe.”

  That was the quietest way to walk in the woods.

  “We will,” Nogg promised her.

  “Don’t forget, anything can happen in the Big Wide World,” she reminded them.

  Hugo looked excited at the thought.

  “And I don’t mean good anythings!” Hugo’s mother told him sternly.

  7

  Nogg’s Secret

  It was a long walk to Boone’s house. Every so often, Nogg stopped to sniff the air, making sure that no Humans were around.

  They crossed Ripple Worm River by leaping from rock to rock where the river ran shallow. Mostly, though, they kept to the thickest part of the woods, walking without making a sound, as only Sasquatches can. Once, they even snuck up on a deer and her fawn as the pair were nibbling on buds from a tree. Hugo came so close to the deer that he reached out and petted the fawn’s spotted back. The mother deer snorted in surprise but didn’t run—animals know that Sasquatches won’t hurt them.

  “Nogg,” Hugo said in his quietest voice when they were deep in the woods, “there’s something I’ve been wondering about.”

  “What?” Nogg asked. He spoke in a voice so quiet that if you heard it, you would have thought it was just the sound of leaves stirring in the wind.

  “Why did your clan have to leave your cavern so quickly?”

  “I don’t think I should tell you,” Nogg said. “You might get scared.”

  “Not me,” Hugo said stoutly.

  For a moment Nogg was silent. Then he whispered, “Do you believe in ghosts, Hugo?”

  Hugo was not sure that he did believe in ghosts. But he was not sure that he didn’t believe in them, either.

  “I might believe in them,” he said.

  “Well, Craggy Cavern was haunted,” Nogg said. “That’s why we left.”

  “Haunted!” Hugo cried.

  “Shhh.”

  “But how did you know it was haunted?” Hugo asked in a quieter voice.

  “Well, about a month ago, our old cavern flooded, so we moved into Craggy Cavern. It was fine at first. But then strange things started happening. Stuff would go missing. My dad couldn’t find his whittling knife, and Mrs. Wikpik’s bracelet disappeared. My Ranger Scout sash with all my merit badges disappeared, too. If you were eating your lunch and walked away, your lunch would be gone when you came back.”

  “Rats?” suggested Hugo.

  “That’s what we thought at first. But then things got stranger. We started seeing an eerie blue light floating through dark passages and then vanishing.”

  Hugo felt a shiver on his neck. “The ghost,” he murmured.

  Nogg nodded. “Then came the weird sounds. We would suddenly hear this knocking sound. And right after the knocking, something bad would happen. One time, a stalactite in the school lunchroom fell and almost hit someone. Another time, a loose rock fell from a ledge during recess and broke a teacher’s foot.”

  That shivery feeling on Hugo’s neck traveled down his back. He looked behind him, then all around. The woods suddenly felt very wild and sinister. He remembered what his mother had said—that anything could happen in the Big Wide World . . . and not good anythings.

  “Then yesterday,” Nogg continued, “while we were sitting in class, we heard it again. Knock, knock, knock. Everyone got quiet. We knew something bad was about to happen. Even our teacher looked scared. Suddenly we heard a rumble, and we all jumped out of our seats a second before the back wall caved in. A big chunk of rock landed right on my desk and smashed it to bits. If I hadn’t jumped up in time . . .” Nogg shook his head grimly. “We left Craggy Cavern right then and there, before something even worse happened.”

  All of a sudden, Nogg stopped walking. Crouching down, he squinted suspiciously through the trees, sniffing at the air.

  “What is it?” Hugo whispered hoarsely, feeling a rush of panic.

  “Right there.” Nogg pointed.

  With his heart thumping in his chest, Hugo peered through the thick tangle of trees and brush. Nestled by the riverbank was a little blue house with a red roof.

  They had arrived at Boone’s place.

  8

  The Human House

  Hugo stood in front of Boone’s door without knocking. To be honest, he felt a little nervous. He had never been in a Human house before. He had definitely never been to a Human birthday party. He didn’t know what to expect or how to act.

  “Are you sure they’re friendly Humans?” Nogg asked, eyeing the house uneasily.

  “Of course they are!” Hugo said. Seeing Nogg nervous made Hugo feel braver. He stepped up and knocked on the door.

  In a moment, the door swung open and there was Boone, with his thirty-eight freckles and an extra-wide smile.

  “You’re here!” Boone cried, just as Grandma Ruthie stepped up behind him. Boone and his grandma noticed Nogg at the same time.

  “Ohhh . . . hello,” Boone said, staring with wide eyes at the horn on Nogg’s forehead. Nogg was staring right back at Boone and his grandma. He had never seen a Human up close before, and had certainly never spoken with one.

  “Well, we can’t stand here all day gawking at each other, can we?” Grandma Ruthie said. “Come on inside. Lunch is ready. I hope you’re both hungry.”

  “Sasquatches are always hungry!” Hugo declared. “Especially after walking through the woods.”

  But then he remembered that Nogg was only part Sasquatch, and he supposed unicorns might not get quite as hungry as Sasquatches.

  “I mean, I guess we wouldn’t mind a bite or two of something,” Hugo added.

  Hugo walked inside the Human house and gazed around. It was very bright inside, even brighter than it was outside. That was the first thing Hugo noticed. It was so bright that it made Hugo’s eyes water. It was not at all like being inside Widdershins Cavern, which was always nice and dim, like twilight. The walls in the Human house were all straight and smooth, unlike the bumpy cave walls. Hugo thought it might be nice to lick them, but he knew that wouldn’t be polite.

  “Happy birthday, Boone,” Nogg said.

  Hugo had been so amazed at the Human house that he had almost forgotten why they were there. “Oh, yes, happy birthday, Boone!” He handed Boone his gift. “Gigi helped me make this.”

  “Thanks!” Boone untied the string and unwrapped the gift. Inside was a crown. It was made of branches woven together tightly, and it had bits of smooth colored glass glued to it. Hugo and Gigi had used the branches and the magic gems from Castles & Knights to make it.

  “It’s a Birthday Crown,” Hugo explained. “When a squidge has a birthday, they get a crown to make them King or Queen for a Day. It means you get to tell everybody what to do the entire day.”

  “Awesome!” Boone put the crown on his head. It fit perfectly. He pointed a finger at his grandma and said, “I hereby command you . . .”

  Grandma Ruthie raised an eyebrow at him.

  “Just practicing,” he told her with a grin.

  There was a scuffling sound from down the hallway, and suddenly a large yellow Labrador appeared in the room.

  Here is something you probably don’t know about Sasquatches: They are scared of dogs. I mean, absolutely bonkers terrified. This is probably because Humans have used dogs to hunt Sasquatches for many hundreds of years, so you can’t blame Sasquatches fo
r being afraid.

  At the sight of the dog, Nogg plastered himself against the wall, while Hugo lunged toward Boone and swept his friend up in his arms to save him from the ferocious beast. Boone’s crown toppled off his head, and the dog, whose name was Mogi, grabbed it up in his mouth and trotted out the open door.

  “Don’t tell me that two big fellows like you are afraid of a dog?” Grandma Ruthie said to Hugo and Nogg.

  “Mogi won’t hurt you,” Boone said. “He’s afraid of everything, even umbrellas.”

  “I’m sorry,” Hugo said as he gently placed Boone back on his feet. “But what about your crown . . .”

  By the time they found Mogi, he had turned Boone’s Birthday Crown into a mangled, slobbery mess. The glass gems were gone, too.

  “Oh, Boone,” Hugo said miserably. This was a crummy start to a birthday party.

  “It’s okay.” Boone patted Hugo on the back. “I’ll just rinse off the spit.”

  Boone rinsed the crown, dried it off, and put it back on his head. All the branches had teeth marks on them, and they were sticking every which way. Boone looked like he had rolled around in a pile of branches.

  “See,” Boone said, “I can still wear it.”

  He could. Except he didn’t look very kingly anymore.

  9

  Slippery Strings

  They all sat down in the dining room for lunch. The chairs were Human-sized, of course. That meant that Hugo and Nogg didn’t quite fit in them. Although squidges are about the height of a small Human adult, they are a lot bulkier. They are all hair and thick arms and legs. Hugo was afraid he would break the chair, so he sort of squatted lightly on it.

  The meal was strange—bowls of slippery white strings with a red sauce on top of them. Near each bowl was a metal stick with dangerous-looking spikes on it.

  Hugo watched as Boone picked up the spikey metal stick, stabbed it into the slippery strings, and spun it around and around. Then with a SLUUUURP, he sucked the strings into his mouth.

  Oh! Hugo realized. The spikey metal thing is a Human spoon!

  Sasquatches don’t have forks, only wooden spoons. And to be perfectly truthful, they often eat with their hands. Even when they have soup, they just drink it straight out of the bowl.

  Hugo picked up the Human spoon. But it was so small in his large hand that he had a hard time twirling it in the strings the way Boone did. When he was finally able to get some of the strings into his mouth, he slurped it up like Boone had. SLUUURP! The red sauce splattered all over the hair on his chin and on his chest. He rubbed at it with his napkin, but that made it worse.

  He looked over at Nogg. His face and chest were also a saucy mess.

  Grandma Ruthie frowned at both of them. “Don’t tell me you two have never eaten spaghetti with tomato sauce.”

  “Never,” Nogg said, rubbing at a splotch of sauce on his shoulder.

  “I don’t think I’m very good at spaghetti with tomato sauce,” Hugo said.

  “I can see that,” she said.

  “I’m excellent at birthday cake, though,” Hugo assured her.

  10

  Human Birthday Cake

  There was a chocolate cake on the kitchen counter. Hugo watched as Grandma Ruthie stuck little blue sticks in the cake. Then, to his surprise, she struck a match and lit those blue sticks.

  “Boone!” Hugo whispered. “Why is she setting that cake on fire?”

  “Those are birthday candles, Hugo,” Boone whispered back.

  As Grandma Ruthie carried the cake with the lit candles over to the table, she sang the birthday song. You all know the song, but Hugo and Nogg didn’t, so they faked it as best they could, and by the time they had figured out the words, it ended.

  Grandma Ruthie put the cake down in front of Boone and placed a different sort of Human spoon beside it. This one was shaped like a triangle with a long handle. It looked a lot less dangerous than the spaghetti spoon. Now, you and I both know that the triangle spoon was actually a cake server, but Sasquatches don’t have such things, so of course Hugo wouldn’t know that.

  Boone closed his eyes. Then he just sat there like that, not moving or saying anything.

  “Boone?” Hugo whispered.

  Boone didn’t answer.

  “Boone? Are you sleeping?” Hugo was anxious to start eating the cake. He had barely eaten any of the spaghetti and after the long walk through the woods, his belly was feeling very empty and rumbly.

  “I’m not sleeping, Hugo. I’m just thinking of a wish,” Boone replied, his eyes still closed.

  Hugo eyed the cake. “I can help you think of one,” Hugo offered.

  “I have to think of it myself,” Boone told him.

  Hugo sighed, but only in his head. While he waited for Boone to think of his wish, he picked up the triangle spoon to examine it.

  “Okay, I know what I’ll wish for!” Boone said suddenly. He opened his eyes and blew out all the candles with one big breath.

  After Boone plucked the candles out of the cake, he noticed that Hugo was holding the server. Boone slid the plate of cake toward Hugo.

  “Go ahead,” Boone said. “You can do the honors.”

  Hugo looked down at the beautiful cake.

  “Are you sure?” he asked Boone.

  “Why not?”

  Hugo smiled. “Here goes,” he said. He plunged the triangle spoon into the middle of the cake, scooped out a nice big chunk, and put it in his mouth.

  The triangle spoon worked much better than the spaghetti spoon. In fact, it fit his mouth so perfectly, he wondered why Sasquatches didn’t have spoons like that, too.

  When I get back home, he thought to himself, I am going to mention this to Mom.

  Hugo took another spoonful of cake, and then another, all the while wishing that his cake was just a little bit bigger. Then he remembered his manners and stopped to wipe some frosting off his chin. That’s when he noticed that no one else at the table had any cake in front of them. Not only that, but Boone and Grandma Ruthie were staring at him with shocked looks on their faces.

  “Isn’t anyone else going to have birthday cake?” Hugo asked them.

  “Well, we were planning to,” Grandma Ruthie said in an annoyed voice.

  Hugo looked over at the kitchen. He didn’t see any other cakes there. Then he looked down at his own cake.

  “Is this . . . ?” he asked in a small, horrified voice.

  “Yes, that’s the birthday cake,” Grandma Ruthie said. “The only birthday cake.”

  “But it was so small that I just thought . . .” Hugo said.

  Sasquatches have tremendous appetites, especially when it comes to cake. On their birthdays, everyone gets their very own cake. It would never have occurred to Hugo that the puny little Human birthday cake was supposed to be shared.

  “It’s fine, Hugo,” Boone said, though Hugo could tell that he was disappointed.

  “It’s not fine. I ate your birthday cake!” Hugo’s eyes were welling up.

  Grandma Ruthie couldn’t stay irritated for long and said, “Now, now, we can’t have tears at a birthday party. Never mind, it’s just cake, and cake is a silly thing to cry about.”

  That was when Boone made his first command as King for a Day.

  “I hereby declare that we go up to my tree house!”

  So that’s exactly what they did.

  11

  King Boone

  Boone’s tree house was made with nice strong planks of oak. It had windows cut into it and a rope ladder. But best of all, it had a slide attached to it, so you could make a quick exit if a criminal climbed up into the tree house, or if your grandmother had already yelled for you five times that dinner was on the table.

  Up in the tree house, Boone showed them how to look out the window through his special spyglass, which was really just the cardboard tube from a paper towel roll wrapped in silver duct tape. But if you squinted when you looked through it, it really did seem that you could see far, far away.

&n
bsp; Boone also showed them his box of cryptozoologist tools. When he and Hugo grew up, they were going to be cryptozoologists. A cryptozoologist’s job is to look for mysterious creatures. (This is how you say that word: CRIP-TOE-ZOE-OLOGIST. See, it’s not that hard!) In the box, there was a flashlight, a compass, a journal, an old camera, and plaster of paris, so that if Boone found a footprint, he could make a mold of it.

  Boone looked at Nogg. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course,” replied Nogg.

  “What sort of creature are you?”

  “What do you mean?” asked Nogg.

  “I mean . . . what species are you?” Boone asked.

  Hugo worried this might be rude, so under his breath he muttered to Boone, “Squatchicorn.”

  “What-i-corn?” Boone asked.

  Hugo cleared his throat. “Squatchicorn,” he muttered again.

  But Nogg had overheard.

  “What’s a Squatchicorn?” Nogg asked.

  Hugo looked at the confused expression on Nogg’s face. “Um . . . not you, I’m guessing?”

  “I’m a Sasquatch. Just like you,” said Nogg.

  “But Sasquatches can’t grow horns,” Hugo said.

  “Neither can I,” Nogg replied. Then he laughed. “Come on, I’ll show you something.”

  12

  The Golden Eye

  They all slid down the tree house slide. It was the first time Hugo had ever been on a slide, so when he reached the bottom, he climbed back up to the tree house and slid down one more time.

  Then Nogg led Boone and Hugo toward the banks of the river. For a few minutes, Nogg walked back and forth, looking for something at the river’s edge.